When I was gushing about Hamilton, I also mentioned that I had spent the weekend working on some job applications. A couple of interesting opportunities cropped up at the same time. The first was a Head of English position at RRS. Sadly, my current HoD (Head of Department, for those who aren't fluent in educational acronyms) is moving on to more academic pastures, but our Headteacher advertised the post internally, so I jumped at the chance. Well. After a little hesitation, anyway. Being a Head of English is one of my career goals, and I was excited by the vain prospect of achieving that goal before I'm even thirty. That being said, I felt like I was skipping a step by not having been a second in the department first. Furthermore, having been pulled further away from the day-to-day running of the department by my Head of Year role, I felt even less prepared for this position now than I would have this time last year.
This position also came available just as I was struggling with how little I've enjoyed being Head of Year. I am tired of fighting senior management for what I think is best for the students, and tired of constantly chasing my tail as I try to meet everyone's conflicting demands. The role is evolving along a much more pastoral line than I was led to believe when I accepted it, and that's not a path I'm particularly interested in developing. I had almost made up my mind to step back into a teaching position and leave the arguing and chasing to someone else in September, when this new opportunity came up. Being a HoD would mean just as much arguing and chasing, but in an area I genuinely want to pursue. Add to this mix of uncertainty an advertisement for a teaching position at Haberdasher's Aske's School in Hertfordshire, and I suddenly felt very torn. Here was a chance to take a step back and make a move to Hertfordshire at the same time, which would make Sean and my personal life so much easier. Watford is significantly nicer to live in than Croydon, and it would remove Sean's current horrendous commute. I would also have the chance to work in a much more academic environment and go back to teaching all-girls. The applications were both due at the same time, so I spent the weekend twisting my brain between two very different job descriptions and person requirements. On Sunday, Sean asked me what I would do if I got both positions, and I had no idea. I didn't want to think about that, because I didn't want to seem arrogant by assuming I'd get them, or jinx myself. I figured I'd work it out when it happened. Turns out I didn't have to worry about it, and I was a little arrogant for thinking I'd have to make the choice at all. Not only did I not get asked to interview at Habs', but I didn't get the HoD position at RRS either. I was gutted and felt like all that time I put into those application letters over the weekend was wasted. I was also completely wrung out, as it was a very drawn-out waiting period (especially for the HoD position) with my body on a pretty much constant flood of cortisol for about a week. It was confirmed this past Monday that I wouldn't be interviewed for the Habs' job (though I'd figured that out already) and on Wednesday I met with my Headteacher again, who told me I was not going to be HoD either. That was a brutal day. Between not even being offered an interview for a regular teaching job and then not getting the HoD position, my confidence was in pieces. On top of that, it was the last week of term and I was already mentally and emotionally exhausted. Bless my colleague Anneke, who convinced me to go out for dinner and a drink, then go to the school play. That, and the whole school cross-country event in the afternoon, kept me well distracted and stopped me brooding too much. That being said, when I got home late Wednesday night to the quiet, lonely apartment, I rather fell apart. While getting up and going into work Thursday was tough - I was genuinely concerned I'd develop a full-blown migraine before lunch from the emotional pressure - by the evening I was feeling a lot less sorry for myself. I had spent a half-hour or so journalling and, like it always does, it helped me see things much more clearly. I realised that this was really the best possible outcome for me, and that I'm actually happy at how things turned out (at least, I am now that the initial trauma of the double rejection has passed). Given everything I've just said, that may come as a surprise. For me, the surprise was how upset I was by not getting offered the position, given that I was genuinely unsure about whether I was ready for it or not. I might not be Head of Department, but I have been promised a key stage co-ordinator position (a second in charge) in English from September. While my Headteacher (and three other members of senior management) have made it clear they really hope I continue in my role as Head of Year as well, I am free to let that go and make a clean sideways step into the department if I want. Which I do. Though I have to keep reminding myself of that, as I seem to be a glutton for punishment. There's a tiny voice in my head saying "maybe I could do both...there's so much I didn't get the chance to do this year, and they're promising me more time next year..." I probably could do both, but I don't think I can really trust that I'll be given more protected time for the role. They don't have enough English staff for that to happen. Besides, that tiny voice is forgetting how little I have enjoyed about the Head of Year role. I might be able to have an impact on the things I dislike about the school through that role, but at what cost? My personal wellbeing has been largely ignored this past year and I don't think I want to put myself at the bottom of my priorities list anymore. I haven't given my decision to the Head yet. I have until after Easter to officially decide so I will sit on it for a while, in case something changes my mind. At the moment though, I am looking forward to stepping back as Head of Year and moving forward as Head of Key Stage 3/4 in English in September. tags
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The Thursday before half-term break, RRS was generous enough to send both myself and my colleague, Kate, on a day-long course at the EMC. I've only attended one other course by them and it was excellent, so there were high hopes for this one. The course was revising Othello for A-Level Literature. We teach AQA Literature A at RRS, and I was the lucky teacher who got to spend two whole terms covering Othello with my group of 12 students. While that may sound sarcastic (and might have been, a few months ago) I have actually thoroughly enjoyed being able to take my time and really deeply, thoroughly explore this text with my class. The debates and discussions we've had have been so much more meaningful because of having all this time to focus on it. I've loved being able to go into such depth!
Professional development can sometimes have a bit of a bad rep with teachers, particularly the kind of CPD we have to sit through on INSET days - often only tangentially relevant and rarely providing specific resources, ideas, and pedagogical techniques that you can take away and readily apply. Having experienced such 'development' myself, you can rest assured that when I say the EMC's courses are amazing, you know that I mean it. I came away from their Revising Othello course feeling energised about my subject and about this text, bursting with ideas that I wanted to try with my class as soon as possible! Kate and I spent an extra 30 minutes hanging around after the course just chatting about how we were going to use those ideas, and hashing out a rough plan for occasionally merging our class to run different kinds of sessions with slightly larger groups.
Those ideas can all come later though, for now let me focus on the course itself. It was divided into three sections - the morning was spent looking at the text itself and different approaches to introducing it and teaching close analysis. After break we had a guest lecturer from the University College of London delivering a short lecture on Othello in context (focusing on the bourgeoning capitalism and emerging age of enlightenment), which was fascinating. The Q&A section afterwards was particularly useful in unpacking and addressing some of my own confusions about the play. The third session after lunch was where we really got to the revision part. What I liked most about it was that it wasn't revision in the sense of 'this is what we've covered and here's how to remember it' but more in the sense of deepening our students' understanding and approach to the play.
This was what I was really interested in doing: facilitating students in taking time to really explore their own interests and interpretations of the text, which, as I'm sure we're all well aware, is the skill where they really get the big payoffs in the new exams. The exam boards are no longer simply interested in what they can remember or what they know about the play - they want to know what they think of the play, and why they have those opinions. It's a lot closer to what my first year of university was like rather than my 12th grade English lessons.
One of the activities they gave us was a drama-based archetype activity where they are given four gestures, each representing an archetype, and they say lines from the play using the archetype to colour their delivery. I hate drama activities in English. I've never been able to make them work effectively and they always end up feeling like a noisy, chaotic waste of time, with me (and the students) left wondering what we actually got from the activity. This archetypes one is something I can really see myself trying in the class - perhaps even with GCSE students as well. It was focused and felt like it had a tangible benefit to understanding. Of course, that might just be because it was done in a room full of teachers, taking it mostly seriously and actually applying the activity to the play, but it's definitely one I want to take into the classroom!
Overall the course was incredibly useful and I came away with some great ideas and some fantastic resources including a free copy of the EMC's Studying Othello guide. I've already had a read-through and it's got some great ideas in it too - I've already planned my first lesson back after the half term (roughly, anyway) using this guide. If you're an English teacher anywhere near London, I would definitely recommend trying out one of the EMC's courses. They are interesting, practical, and usually packed with resources for you to take away in addition to ideas. Check out their full list of available courses; there's always something new and interesting. tags
I have been head of year 8 since September. It’s a new role at RRS, one with a more academic focus than is typical for a head of year. We still have a head of house system as well, and they have the majority of control over pastoral and other student-focused matters. The tricky thing is that this role is brand-spanking new and so the job description is hazy, to say the least.
Defining this role has been a challenge, as there are so many fingers in the pie, each with conflicting ideas of what the role should be. It’s been a personal challenge for me because it has required standing up to other teachers and senior leadership and defending my corner. I’m used to quietly ignoring what I don’t agree with and doing my own thing (something that’s thankfully possible in the independent sector) but now I need to challenge people directly a lot more, and do so in a way that doesn’t alienate people. It’s been (and still is) a steep learning curve. I’ve had to narrow my focus as well. I’m one of only two heads of year that isn’t also a head of department or in another significant leadership position, and I am not a head of section. My timetable allocation for this role is miniscule, especially when you take into account the additional meetings every week. That being said, I have found a way to feel like I’m actually being effectual without taking on too much. I’m fostering a small group of resilience ambassadors among year 8. I’ve targeted 10 students with low confidence, who are underachieving in multiple subjects, and my goal is to raise their effort levels and hopefully their attainment. The first step in the plan was a workshop, which I arranged through the organisation Worth It. It was an excellent session and Claire, the facilitator, was great at drawing them out of their shells and getting everyone contributing. The students thoroughly enjoyed it as well, surprising their tutors with their positive reception. My goal is to empower these students and that’s why I’m giving them the role of resilience ambassadors. They know the ultimate goal is for them to go out and share what they’re learning with other students, and to encourage resilience in their friends. Following on from the workshop, I created an observation form for them. They had to identify examples of the resilient traits and behaviours they learned about in the workshop in other students, parents, teachers, over the course of a week. They feedback their observations and I was surprised by how many they noticed and how astute they were. The primary focus for the first three weeks has been the initial workshop and then building their confidence. Tutors have been encouraged to have conversations with them about what they feel as gone well in their week, and what they’re grateful for. They’ve been given sheets to gather others’ perceptions of their strengths and positive traits. After discussing all of this, we sat down together and drew up a list of specific things that ‘good’ students do and that resilient people do. I will turn this list into a report for them to use in lessons. Their goal now is to begin fostering those resilient ‘good student’ habits. So far students, parents, and teachers have all been really positive about the program and I’m certainly noticing a difference in this group’s confidence already. Some of them have already started accruing more merits and fewer behaviour notifications. Ideally, by the summer term they will be ready to start sharing their learning with other students and they will deliver a presentation to their forms and start a buddy system with year 7. If you’re interested in the resources I’m using for this program or want more details, just leave a comment or send me an email. I love hearing from you and also love sharing resources and ideas! tags
I’m not sure why, but January and February always seem to be the hardest months of the year, psychologically. I’m sure there’s some scientific reason for that. Perhaps the winter weather and dark days have drained our stores of vitamin D or seratonin so far that functioning is hard. Perhaps the financial strain of coming off the festive season takes its toll. Or even perhaps it’s the pressure of the new year - new you! and all the detox diets and health kicks and New Years resolutions happening all around you. Or the pressure of being another year older and still not having your life as together as you think you should by now. Whatever it is, January and February are rough months.
That being said, work is actually keeping me afloat this year. It’s still emotionally draining and I put a lot of pressure on myself. I’m going through the appraisal process at the moment and that’s never a fun experience. But it has been a positive one this year. The focus is very much on what I have contributed and what I would like to see the school change to make it more pleasant to work there, rather than what am I doing (or not doing) for the students. It’s actually about me as a professional and a teacher, not about whether my students are meeting their targets. Don’t misunderstand me: student success is at the centre of everything this school does and at the centre of everything I am trying to do, but RRS doesn’t use it like a bludgeon to beat the staff into submission. I've also had a few confidence boosting conversations recently that have helped me feel a little more at ease. First, let me point out (if you didn't know this already) that I have unattainably high standards for myself. Nothing less than inhuman perfection is good enough, which obviously then makes my life very difficult. So for me, having outside validation is important because I can’t always see the things I have achieved - focusing so much instead on the things that didn’t work or the students that didn’t achieve. So to hear from my head of department that I am doing a fantastic job and that she believes i should be looking for a head of department position in the next two years was wonderful. She is so positive and so supportive that she makes it easy to take on responsibilities. She makes me believe that I could succeed in positions with much more responsibility, which is a kind of support I’ve not had from heads of departments before. Admittedly, I haven’t been teaching that long; this is my fourth year and I have worked largely in good schools, which means opportunities for advancement don't come around much. In England, if you are driven and want to get promoted fast, work in a failing school; as a general rule of thumb they promote young, and they promote fast. Good schools don't, really. So I haven't really seriously considered a leadership position - I've always felt too young and too inexperienced to be thinking about that yet. Then, when I was talking to Sean about my HoD's comment, he told me that I seem far more experienced, confident and competent than someone of my experience level usually does, which got me rethinking the timeline on my career goals. Certainly nothing will change dramatically for a little while yet. Perhaps something smaller will come up in September at RRS that I can apply for. Whether it's the length of time I've been teaching or the move to a more open and flexible school, I find I’m more reflective this year, and I think I’m consciously developing more as a professional now than I have in the past three years. I learned a lot working at TGS and the women I worked with in my department there did so much towards helping me become a more confident teacher, and helping me move towards excellence. Their experience and the way they shared their ideas and strategies freely was a godsend. I cannot overstate how important free sharing within a department is: you learn so much just from seeing what other teachers are using in their lessons, what they’re drawing out of the content, how they scaffold skills. And that’s before you even get in and watch them deliver it. There was constant discussion over what they were doing in lessons and what worked or didn't work for a class or for a specific student they'd taught before. There was no hesitation about emailing out a lesson that went particularly well. Professional development happened constantly, almost without you realising. It was wonderful and I miss it. My current department doesn't really talk much to each other or share resources or strategies very often. But I am developing in other ways now. Thanks to the increased autonomy and lack of resource sharing, I can experiment a little more and I have to consider how to apply and adapt everything I have learned in my career so far into new resources. It's exciting and I don't resent planning and creating lessons over the holidays so much (though marking I still resent. I groan every time I look at the last five coursework essays sitting on my desk right now). I don't think I would have developed in the same way or at the same rate if I'd stayed at one school. I'd probably be head of department, or at least a second by now if I had stayed at StAnds. But I don't think I would be particularly good at either position. There is something to be said for standing your ground and spending a few years in a single school. You can establish yourself and track your experiments and efforts across a cohort as they move through all the key stages. But there’s also something to be said for moving schools. I’ve taught in three different schools in four years. All of them very very different, and the things I have learned and the way I have developed as a teacher (and a person) is unbelievable. Thinking back to what I was like as a teacher at StAnds makes me smile. I was good, compared to others. But I would do things so differently now. And, obviously, am doing things so differently. My job excites me again, rather than frustrates. So yeah. For all that January and February are rough months, I think I’m in a very good place at the moment and am looking forward to what more 2018 has to offer. tags
I have always said I would make an atrocious soldier. I don't mind following orders, but I'll only really do so when it suits me. Or when I can see the method behind the mandate. If I can't agree with something or don't see the value in it, I will do what I think is best instead.
I struggled with teaching in state schools because I found them stifling. Proscriptive and focused so much on the data that the actual students in my classroom - the burgeoning young adults, rather than the numbers assigned to them by their SATs - were often being completely overlooked. There was so much oversight and so many restrictions that I felt, as a professional, like they were asking me to fly while at the same time clipping my wings. There is no one person I can blame for this - my line managers, the deputies, even the headteacher I'm sure all felt as frustrated and restricted as I did. The education system itself is broken. I'm three teaching weeks into the autumn term now in the independent sector and I still find myself a little taken aback by the differences. Students matter here. I'm not working in an academically high achieving school, but I seem to have found a place that cares about the students as human beings. The school wants them to do well in their exams, and they're pushed to achieve as highly as possible, but that means different things for different students. Target grades are not shared with the students. In fact, they're not shared with the teachers either until closer to the exams. Students are expected to keep pushing themselves, and teachers to drive them forward, but it's without the constant sense of failure that target grades can often engender. I have autonomy in my classroom. As long as I am in keeping with the department's assessment styles and the exam curriculum's skills outline, I can teach whatever texts I choose and generally in whatever manner I choose. How I mark and how I often I mark is broadly up to me. There's a big push from my head of department to focus on verbal feedback and whole class feedback sheets. According to research, not only does this style of marking reduce workload and stress for teachers, but it has more immediate and lasting impact on students' progress as well. I have noticed that impact even in the three short weeks I have been here; already my students are more confident in their analysis and their paragraphs are becoming more developed and articulate. And I have yet to collect and properly 'mark' any. They will respond to an exam-style question this week and that will be marked according to the exam assessment grids, but I don't have to have that paper record to know that most of my students have already made good progress this term. And the fact that I haven't spent hours ticking their books and flagging spelling errors outside of the classroom means that my planning time has been spent doing exactly that: planning more powerful, more effective lessons that will help them continue making that kind of progress. What really stands out to me about my current teaching experience, however, is that I haven't been counting down the weeks to half-term. I am enjoying my job, something that hasn't been strictly true for an unfortunate length of time. When I went back to work in September of last year, it was more a feeling of being battle-ready than being energised to be in the classroom. I was very apprehensive this year, and I have spent a lot of time working long hours the past three weeks, but I have enjoyed doing it. Part of that enjoyment definitely comes from the lifestyle changes the new job has given me. My commute at the moment is, at most, twenty minutes from my front door to my classroom. I have effectively got back a little under two hours of my life. I also no longer have to think about buying food for packed lunches or making sure I am awake in time to eat breakfast in the morning. Staff are entitled to free breakfast and lunch at school and, if you're there into the evening, dinner as well. I don't have to cook (or, indeed, even grocery shop!) if I don't want to. There's a swimming pool on site that I can use after school, and a cross-country course that I can run whenever I'm free. There's also a gym on-site (though as it's brand new, we're currently experiencing some health and safety teething problems). By the time I get home around six or seven, I have nothing to do with my evening except perhaps some laundry and relaxing. And because I'm no longer getting up at 5am, I'm no longer going to bed by 9pm. I actually have an evening, and having that time to myself in the week is incredible. I can read, I can actually cook properly, I can do yoga, I can blog! It's a Monday night and I am writing a blog post. I have cooked dinner tonight, and done yoga, and watched both an episode of Victoria and an episode of Castle. I also spent ages on twitter trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing with my creative writing club at school. I have a life outside of the weekends and half term, and it feels glorious! Don't get me wrong: work is very busy. My days are so full and so fast-paced that I sometimes reach four o clock and have to just sit quietly in my classroom and stare at the trees out my window for five or ten minutes until my head stops spinning. But I feel good about it, and I can take the time to unwind and slow down at home, which I struggled to do the past three years. I expect things will get a lot more intense over the December - February period, but with any luck the lifestyle changes that have come with this job will help me sustain my generally positive outlook. tags
The countdown is in its final stages: 8 teaching days left until the summer holidays! I am very ready to celebrate the end of what has been a challenging, but ultimately thoroughly rewarding academic year. September is going to bring some big changes, not least of which is a new job. I took a chance over the Easter holiday and applied to a private school closer to home, fully believing that I wouldn't even get an interview. I was blown away when I not only got asked to interview, but was offered the job that same evening. The experience was an enormous confidence boost right when I needed it most; it made me fully aware, for the first time in three years, that I know what I'm doing as a teacher. That I am good at what I do.
Of course I wouldn't have been able to get the position if it weren't for my experiences at TGS over the past two years. My fellow English colleagues are an eclectic mix of incredible people who are excellent teachers. The tips and support I've received while working with them is what has helped me become the teacher I am today and I will be very sorry to leave these wonderful women (and man) come July. They have become friends as much as colleagues and I would hope our conversations will simply shift so they happen over cocktails in restaurants rather than cakes in the department office! The confidence boost I got from getting this new job, and the relief I feel at knowing that soon I won't have to endure an awful commute mean I have felt so much more relaxed at work. Between that and the extended sunshine we've had recently, I am finding it much easier to breathe and to smile. I'm trying to use this time to ingrain some of the habits that will help me hold onto this positive energy when winter starts to settle in again, but that's a work in progress - one that will hopefully be supported by getting out of the city for a while. I love London, but life moves at a frantic pace here and I'm so used to it now that I don't realise how much it affects me until I leave it. Sean and I visited Warwickshire a few weeks ago to take in some castles for his birthday, and we spent Easter weekend in Dorset. I was very happy in the countryside, so much so that Sean said to me, "I don't understand why you ever moved to London in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you did, but you're so happy in the country." He's not wrong. I enjoy everything there is to do in London, and I love how easy and quick it is to go anywhere, but the peace and pace of the countryside is far more suited to my temperament. Then again it could simply be the effect of getting completely away from the stresses of work and general responsibility that allow me to relax so much in the country. Whatever the reason, I think I should make it my goal to escape the city more often, particularly in those long, dark days from January to March when SAD is at its most virulent. I plan to kick-start my summer holiday by escaping the city, in fact: I have booked a vacation through Contiki Tours that meanders across Scandinavia for 10 days, spending a significant amount of that time in northern Norway - all those fjords and forests! I leave at the end of July and I'm really looking forward to it; it should clear my head completely of any vestiges of work-related stressors and get me fully relaxing into the holiday. Talking of holidays, Canada Day is this Saturday and I plan to drag Sean down to Trafalgar Square to give him a taste of Canadian culture in the form of the Canada Day festivities that are happening there this year. If any of my fellow expats are planning to be there too, keep an eye out for me: I'll be the one wearing red and white and enjoying a heart-stopping serving of poutine. Looking forward to seeing you there! tags
January has felt like a very long month, though not in a particularly bad way. I've done a lot and every time I check my calendar it feels like more time should have passed than actually has. In some ways it feels a bit like I'm running on a hamster wheel - moving very fast but going absolutely nowhere. In another way though, it's nice to realise I have so much more time left to do things.
I joined a gym mid-month. It's actually called The Gym and is advertised as a 'no frills' gym experience (read as: no pool or sauna facilities). So far I'm really enjoying it, though I have to admit I don't really know what I'm doing. I know enough not to injure myself (I hope...) and I suppose since I'm mostly there to relieve stress and up my mood that's good enough. I've been going about two or three times a week for an hour or so and I do feel really good about myself. The increased energy levels haven't quite kicked in yet, so I'm finding it a bit tiring as well. Sticking with it though! I've taken to bringing my kit with me to work so I can go straight there from the station - it's too easy to find reasons not to once I'm home. I've been building the foundation for a really good habit so far, but then this morning I got an email saying there was a burst water main and the gym would be closed until further notice! On the one hand, it's throwing a wrench in my 'three times a week' pattern. On the other hand, I have a cold so I'm tired and snuffly so it's probably for the best. I just hope it won't stay closed all week; I'd like to stick to a routine as much as possible. I've also been sticking to another routine of leaving work between four and four-thirty. My friend said something about teachers needing to accept that it's impossible to finish everything; I've embraced that philosophy and decided that a 9.5 hour work day is plenty long enough and - miracle of miracles - I'm actually more productive now that I don't let myself stay late (unless there's a meeting or parents' evening, of course). I haven't quite figured out exactly how it works, though it likely has something to do with the subconscious procrastinating that goes on when I tell myself I could just stay for three or so hours after work and do the onerous time-consuming tasks then. All in all January has been a very good month. A very busy one and I'm starting to feel the effects of that and the pressure of year 11 exam season fast approaching, but it's been a good month. I've got my eye on a few events and trips coming up soon, so hopefully I will have some more exciting things to tell soon! tags
The Christmas holidays have finally arrived! They really couldn't have come soon enough...
Since September I have been very focused on being a better teacher. Getting better results out of my students; pushing them further than they believed they could go; being more supportive of disengaged pupils; developing effective, meaningful differentiated resources; stepping fully into the pastoral role of a form tutor. I've seen some fantastic work and amazing responses from my students because of it and am thoroughly enjoying being in the classroom this year. I feel more confident and more assured of my abilities and strengths as a teacher and also less embarassed and defensive about my weaknesses. It has been a really strong first term. The flip side to all of that is everything else has completely fallen by the wayside. Self-care? I'm not even sure I know what that is anymore. Down time? I'd have to get my brain to switch out of work mode first. I don't (as you may have noticed) update my blog often. I have barely touched my journal in months. I might get in a bit of running once a month. Maybe. My determination to make myself a priority this academic year was completely overshadowed by my need to be a perfect teacher. I mark and teach in my sleep. Just last night I dreamed I spent an hour and a half sitting a lengthy multiple choice exam. I got stuck on the first question and couldn't move on until I answered it. I worked on that one question for the whole hour and a half. I failed the exam and completely broke down. I'm not sure whether that says more about my current time management skills or my refusal to leave anything undone, but it definitely tells me I'm very burned out at the moment. I'm really frustrated with myself that I can't seem to get the balance right. I keep reaching the holidays (hell, even just the end of the week) feeling completely exhausted. I know I would be a better teacher if I were healthier and more relaxed. I'd have more energy and be more creative and patient. It's not hard to balance work and life; plenty of people manage it, so why can't I? Why can't I be both fit, strong, and healthy and also a dedicated, excellent teacher? Why can't I do better? That's a very dangerous question. It focuses so much on the things I'm not achieving. It has always been my question. My last semester of high school, I finished with a 95.5% average over my courses. Yeah, that was good, but if I could do that, then surely I could do better. I have achieved a lot in my life so far, yet it's never good enough - I could always do better. Yesterday I watched part of an interview with Simon Sinek, an author and motivational speaker who focuses on leadership. This clip of the interview is about Millennials in the workplace and it hit very close to home. tags
Summer is over.
School has started again; not only for teachers but for students too. I wake up at 5am and go to bed at 10pm. It's barely getting light when I leave for work in the morning and the sun only just lifts above the horizon as my train pulls into Clapham Junction, the half-way point on my morning commute. Despite the truly awful early mornings, it does feel really good to be back at work again. Staying at TGS means this is the first time I'm starting a new school year feeling familiar with and confident about the school's policies and how the department runs. I have friends among the staff and I recognise many student faces in the corridors. It really makes me smile to see some of the girls I taught in year 11 last year back again as sixth-formers and strutting around in their plain clothes like they own the place. I've met all my students for the year now and have gone through the appraisal and PMR process and am feeling really positive about this coming academic year. But I'm also feeling a bit lost personally. I mix with a lot of very driven people. They have career goals, and five-year plans, and they all seem to know exactly what they want out of life. I am not one of those people. I've worked with, and been friends with, some incredibly dedicated teachers who give so much to their job. They are so confident in their ability to teach well, in what they bring to the classroom and the wider school. And the students absolutely adore them. I am not one of those people, either. But that isn't to say I don't care about my job; I want to be an excellent classroom teacher. I want the students I teach to do well. But I have no desire to drown out my life with work in order to do it. I try to draw a firm line in my head between work and home, but it isn't easy. Particularly since more and more I'm starting to wonder what I even want out of life. I don't want children. And I'm not particularly career-driven. But if I don't want to give my life over to either of those two things, what else is there? What am I going to do with the rest of the (God-willing) 80+ years I have? These questions scare me. Lots. They tend to creep up in quiet moments every now and then and send me into pre-melt-down mode. After which it really doesn't take much to push me over the edge. Consequently, I prefer to shove them as far to the back of my mind as possible and focus only on the immediate future. I've been thinking about how I can be a better teacher this year. While I obviously want that because I take pride in my job, I'm also hoping working towards it will give me some sense of direction and purpose. I want to figure out how I can better teach my students, but also how I can do it efficiently so I actually have some kind of work-life balance. To that end I've come up with these three goals for the coming year: 1. Learn To Say No I have always had a really hard time with the word 'no' and that's grown a lot worse since I moved to London. I have a few suspicions about why that is, but whatever the reasons I need to work on it. Always saying yes to things because I feel obligated to somehow is part of what gets me so completely overwhelmed and stressed out at times. I need to get into the habit of saying no when I don't want to do something, and also actually voicing it when I do want something. One aspect of work I particularly want to apply this to is the way I set homework for my students. I have decided that I'm not going to set something just because the school policy is two hours of homework a week and it's Friday and I've only set one hour so far. If the homework isn't meaningful for the students then it isn't fair. It robs them of time they could spend on other meaningful homework or, equally important, socialising and relaxing. And it gives me an extra task that is equally meaningless for me when I have to take it in and check it. So I'm not setting homework this year unless I think it's a task that will really benefit their learning. Revolutionary, I know, but a lot of research suggests less homework actually improves results, so perhaps there's something to be discovered there. 2. Reassess How I Assess There's a lot of red pen on students' work when I mark. Not all of it is negative, but I realised towards the end of last June that, positive or not, it's overwhelming for the student. And overly time-consuming for me. Students need one or two clearly defined aspects to focus on per task and my targets are not clearly defined enough to really bolster improvement. My feedback on assessments needs to be more streamlined and focused so I'll be playing around with ways to do that this year. If any of my teacher readers have some suggestions, I'd love to hear them. 3. Remember I'm Important Too Reports. After-school help sessions. Tutoring. Parent's evenings. Teaching. Phone calls home. Detentions. Planning. Marking. Only a small portion of these things happen during the school day. From about 8:15-15:45 I am teaching and/or interacting with students. I do have planning periods every couple of days, but there's only so much you can get done in that single hour. Everything else has to be done outside of school hours and it's all really important to the smooth running of a classroom and the students' success. To make time for all these things, I usually cut out exercising to free up a few hours a week. Then I cut out socialising. Then I cut out cooking. And when it gets really busy, I stop eating dinner. There are some weeks in the middle of the school year when I get home, shower immediately and go to bed. While it does save a hell of a lot on grocery bills, it's not exactly good for my health so this year I'm determined not to do it to myself. Sounds simple, but the execution is tricky. Especially when I struggle to say no. But this year I intend to keep myself firmly near the top of my priorities; after all, I am important to the smooth running of my classroom and my students' success too. tagsI have to take my hat off to our school's librarian. Irene's commitment to promoting wider reading and to bringing books alive for the students is astounding. Since September there have been three school-wide events and a number of smaller excursions for select groups of students. Of the school-wide events two were author visits. I had the pleasure of listening to Katherine Rundell deliver a talk to our year 7 and 8 girls about her newest book, Wolf Wilder. Her passion came across beautifully as she talked about her planning and writing process and where she gets her ideas. Listening to her reminded me how much I love writing fiction and, for a few hours at least, she had me thinking about going back to my writing more seriously. Our girls seemed to find her equally inspiring and came up with some really thoughtful questions to ask in the Q&A bit. My particular favourite was, 'If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose to be?' (Rundell's answer was Hermione Granger, in case you were wondering.) That being said, something my colleague Alice said was true of the author's talk: Rundell's life is difficult to relate to. She lives in a completely different world. She told us about how she finds inspiration in climbing - and not rock climbing. She climbs buildings and frequently gets really high up. Apparently her idea for Rooftoppers came from sitting on the roof of a London building and looking out over the city and all the closely connected rooftops. She wondered what it would be like to live up on those rooftops. She clearly has a fascination with heights, because she also spoke admiringly about those tightrope walkers who string their cables between buildings (like Phillippe Petit in New York who walked between the Twin Towers). She admires them enough that she has a tightrope in her living room and walks across it to help her focus. Apparently she's good enough now to be able to do it in heels and in pointe shoes. Part of her writing process is experiencing what she's putting her characters through so that she can write honestly about it. So she cooked and ate a pigeon once (she wouldn't recommend it). And spent a lot of time in the Amazon fishing for piranhas. She went to a wolf sanctuary to spend some time getting to know real wolves, and went dog sledding in Alaska (if I'm remembering this correctly. Katherine Rundell, if you ever read this and I'm telling it wrong, please forgive me.) As much as I am traveling and experiencing as much as I can, I struggled to relate to the things she does as part of her job. I loved listening to her, and envied her as well. My life is pretty amazing, but there's something almost whimsical about how she described her life. And I found her energy incredible. She was so passionate! I laughed when Alice described her as an Enid Blyton character come to life; I thought it was completely accurate and I loved it. Rundell's energy was, to me, a little infectious, though I think Alice found her a bit much. Unfortunately I didn't get to speak to Rundell as I had to dash to a meeting afterwards, but I have every intention of picking up her books. Even if they are meant for children. tags |
meet the teacherI've worked in a state school, a state academy, and an independent day/boarding school. I've taught both English and Media Studies and am currently Second in my department. I love my job, though I'm still pursuing the elusive work-life balance. Follow me on Twitter for teaching shares and updates.
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